Saturday, May 14, 2005
Alone
Last night Los went for a walk to think back on everything. He's been at Murray State 6 years, but he donned the medieval gown and walked off campus today. Pulling aprat the room I realized I'd never be talking to Los about how nice it is to have another drummer as a roommate, how crazy women are, or how bad Cartoon Network has gotten with their scheduling. I'll never see his "desk" spread out around the head of his bed or trip over a gig-bag big enough for a tuba. Los is gone now, and the campus feels empty.
Of course, the campus is empty. I never realizedquite what it feels like when 10,000 people suddenly stop being all around you. I saw casteele in the Curris Center (where I'm piddling around doing some RCA stuff and currently writing this) and nearly tackled him, just because he was another living soul. And it's only been 2 hours since everyone left. I live most of my life surrounded by people, friends and family, and to suddenly be so alone isn't as easy as I thought it would be.
Even the gamecube, which I kept up here as a loyal companion, just isn't the same without Los or Tiff to wince, cheer, or even just plain complain.
The solitude is a little relieving too, though. I have this next couple of days to think, reflect, and prepare. I want to write some (as always), but I want to read more. I've certainly got a lot of prayers to say, and I hope to learn a few things over the next day or two as well. A bit of the Dead Sea Scrolls, privately owned, is on display in Paducah along with copies of many religious texts. Tomorrow the owner of the scrolls, an expert of sorts, is going to talk to University Church about their significence.
I've had so much on my mind. I have so much on my mind. I've been so stressed for so long that now I sit here and realize how much time has slipped by without me even noticing. I've made great friends here at Murray, but my own time with them is slipping away. Soon I'll be off to grad school, with any luck, and where will they end up? What does the future hold? It's something all writers imagine, but few capture in their writing. This uncertainty is certainly part of life. The 3 stars of the Murray Crest: past, present, future. Sure, they're also something like "Hope, Persivere, and whatever", but both apply. MSU's my present, but it's really starting to become my past too. And the future's not to far away.
I hope I'm ready for it. ¶ 0 comments
Of course, the campus is empty. I never realizedquite what it feels like when 10,000 people suddenly stop being all around you. I saw casteele in the Curris Center (where I'm piddling around doing some RCA stuff and currently writing this) and nearly tackled him, just because he was another living soul. And it's only been 2 hours since everyone left. I live most of my life surrounded by people, friends and family, and to suddenly be so alone isn't as easy as I thought it would be.
Even the gamecube, which I kept up here as a loyal companion, just isn't the same without Los or Tiff to wince, cheer, or even just plain complain.
The solitude is a little relieving too, though. I have this next couple of days to think, reflect, and prepare. I want to write some (as always), but I want to read more. I've certainly got a lot of prayers to say, and I hope to learn a few things over the next day or two as well. A bit of the Dead Sea Scrolls, privately owned, is on display in Paducah along with copies of many religious texts. Tomorrow the owner of the scrolls, an expert of sorts, is going to talk to University Church about their significence.
I've had so much on my mind. I have so much on my mind. I've been so stressed for so long that now I sit here and realize how much time has slipped by without me even noticing. I've made great friends here at Murray, but my own time with them is slipping away. Soon I'll be off to grad school, with any luck, and where will they end up? What does the future hold? It's something all writers imagine, but few capture in their writing. This uncertainty is certainly part of life. The 3 stars of the Murray Crest: past, present, future. Sure, they're also something like "Hope, Persivere, and whatever", but both apply. MSU's my present, but it's really starting to become my past too. And the future's not to far away.
I hope I'm ready for it. ¶ 0 comments
